Channel: Bravo (check local listings)
Time: 10pm Wednesdays
Real Housewives of New Jersey: Finale
Table throwing family fun!
Let me catch you up to speed. In episode 4 “the book” about Danielle comes out and we find that she was arrested for kidnapping, prostitution, and a whole host of other stuff. She blames Dina for leaking the book and showing it around town. Jacqueline has to decide about being her friend or not. Teresa moves into her new house. We find out that Jacqueline is having problems getting pregnant and is seeing a fertility doctor. Nothing else interesting happens really. In episode 5 the fallout from the book continues. Only Jacqueline is speaking with Danielle. Everyone else has cut her out. We also find out that Danielle’s boyfriend is actually cheating on her (I so called that.) because he wants to take someone to Teresa’s shore house that isn’t Danielle. Danielle ultimately decides to break up with him. Teresa gets some boobs. Finally. She was flatter than my 4 year old nephew. Now on to what EVERYONE has been waiting for the entire six episode season…the finale.
The first half hour was full of drivel. Teresa shows Dina & her daughter around her new house. Teresa then tells Dina that she is having a housewarming dinner party and she is inviting Danielle. Jacqueline’s parents visit and she asks their opinion on that car her husband bought for her daughter. Later we see that they present the car to the daughter, but with conditions. Way to parent for real and not just give her the car outright because Lord knows she didn’t completely deserve it. We find Dina helping her daughter clear out all of her billion stuffed animals from her room because she is too old for that stuff now. And she is growing bubbies (That’s breasts for all of you not from northern Jersey). Dina also questions whether she should work or stay at home. Caroline’s dog gets protection classes. Basically learning how to be an attack dog.
And then…the party. Before Danielle and her children arrive Teresa’s new bubbies are discussed and if some of the other housewives’ are real. Everyone is laughing and enjoying themselves and the music from Jaws starts to play in my head as Danielle enters the room. Teresa tries to break the tension by saying some dumb crap about oysters and some “swallowing” jokes are made and then about how Teresa’s husband wanted to have sex right away after her breast surgery. All of a sudden “the book” appears on the table next to Danielle. She finds this to be the right time to give her side of the story and explain things. She kept being interrupted though. She claims that the only things in the book that are real are that she was arrested and that she has changed her name. Um, yeah. Sure. No one is buying that. The younger kids are told to leave the room as it goes back and forth between Dina and Danielle accusing and denying.
A silence overcomes the women and we learn that Caroline was the one who spread “the book” around. The infamous “My family is as thick as thieves” line comes out. Not as satisfying as I wanted it to be. Dina is saying she had nothing to do with “the book” and Jacqueline finally calls her out on it. She had been a part of it all along and had found the book. Danielle then disrespects Teresa in some way and Teresa loses it. She starts screaming, throwing the table around and yelling things such as “prostitution whore.” Love it! Danielle is being called crazy. And just as it started, it stopped. Jacqueline’s husband, clearly the voice of reason, calmed them down and stopped it by telling them everyone was wrong. We get a nice wrap up for the housewives. Dina has decided to stop working and be an actual housewife. Teresa is still helping her daughter become an actress and she is now pregnant. Caroline stands behind exposing the book and would do it again. Danielle is still looking for her “soul mate.” She hasn’t crossed paths with Dina. She also threatened that if people continue to talk crap about her then she will come with people to basically kick your ass. Jacqueline is happily expecting another child and it has brought the family closer together again.
All in all the finale was good. I could have done without the first half of it and just had a whole episode of fighting at the restaurant. I was disappointed that the season was only six episodes. I am looking forward to the reunion show that is next week. Someone needs to throw a punch. They’re from Jersey, it’s almost mandatory.
http://www.amazon.com/Jaws-Original-Motion-Picture-Soundtrack/dp/B000002NZU (Scroll down and play the main title theme for the theme from Jaws)
http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey (Get blogs and other tid bits from the show)
My rating:
Four and a half frames only because there should have been a punch thrown. At least one.
Head over to the forum on www.j1studios.com and discuss your favorite guilty pleasure reality show. Come on, everybody has one.
Until next time kids, this has been Hava.
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