Trump wants you to care about these celebrities

"Celebrity Apprentice"
Channel: NBC (check your local listings)
Day & Time: Sunday @ 9pm EST


Who doesn’t like watching Donald Trump tell has beens and people you forgot existed to do some ridiculous tasks at least once a week? Anyone? Anyone? You in the back? No? Oh, okay. I didn’t think so. Somehow it’s just more interesting watching Trump boss these “celebrities” around than regular Joe shmoes who really need the job and the money. It just seems to be easier to watch sixteen “celebrities” duke it out for money to give to charities.

This new season has brought out a higher quotient of recognizable stars than usual. The line-up this season is as follows: Gary Busey, Jose Canseco, David Cassidy, Richard Hatch, Lil Jon, Mark McGrath, Meat Loaf, John Rich, Hope Dworaczyk, La Toya Jackson, Star Jones, NeNe Leakes, Marlee Matlin, Lisa Rinna, Niki Taylor, and Dionne Warwick. If you don’t recognize any of these names you can go on over to NBC’s website and go to the show’s page and read a short bio about them. The one person on here that I can’t believe is in this group of people trying to be relevant again is Marlee Matlin. She is an Oscar winner for crying out loud! She must be doing this as a favor to Trump to make this season a little more legitimate. Or he is catering to the deaf community.

The season premier was hectic as usual. They broke off into the boys against the girls and came up with team names. The boys chose “Backbone” and the girls chose “A.S.A.P. (Actors, Singers, Authors and Professionals with a Purpose).” Hatch and Jones become the project managers for the task. The task is to run a NY pizzeria. Once at their respective shops they start calling all of their famous and/or rich friends to drum up business. Richard is controlling and obnoxious, just like when he was on Survivor. Thankfully in this reality show he is wearing clothes. He seems to enjoy picking on little David Cassidy by physically pushing him around. The guys prep for sale and somewhere along the way Busey is dubbed the “Pepperoni Profit” and he will be out on the street preaching about the pizza. The ladies take to prepping as well and Star pretty much stays as far away from things that will make her dirty as possible. She works on a way too busy poster instead.

As things start rolling Hatch insists that they only deliver pizzas to large donors. He also pushes Cassidy just one too many times and he tells him so. Hatch doesn’t really seem to care at all. The ladies find that Niki Taylor was a pizza chef in her former life. It seems the only hitch is that Warwick isn’t too quick with the register and the credit card machine. Back at the guys site they are getting big spenders in there which makes Cassidy feel a little inferior. The girls bring in the big bucks too. They also win a taste test challenge and win the right to deliver pizzas to a fire house to pick up a $35,000 donation for their team. When one of Star’s friends order 40 pies at $1000 a piece Star decides to close the shop so they can focus on the large order. She rushes the delivery ladies (Marlee & Lisa) back and gets on them for being in traffic. They are able to make it to Star’s friend, who has changed the order to just one pie for $40,000. They don’t get to the fire house though. Tsk, tsk.

In the boardroom the girls are calmly going at each other and Busey’s cell phone goes off. He is pretty much the best part of this show. So all totaled the girls kicked the guy’s butts at $115,368 to $54,104. While the ladies celebrate the guys go at each other. Or, more specifically, they guys go on about how Hatch picked on everyone especially Cassidy. Canseco wants to beat up Hatch and Busey acts like a loon. When asked who should be fired everyone agrees it should be Hatch. It comes down to Hatch, Cassidy, and Canseco in the end and Trump thinks that Cassidy just doesn’t stick up for himself enough and he ends up getting fired. Ridiculous, right?

It seems to me that they only kept Hatch around for ratings because you know he will fight with people when Cassidy most likely wouldn’t. He just doesn’t seem like that sort of guy. Personally, I think this season should be pretty good. They have some egos on there and anything with Gary Busey is always a winner. I want him to win. If not Busey then definitely Marlee Matlin.

I give this opening show 3 1/2 frames. As things go, it could have been better. I'm grading on a curve.


Until next time kids, this has been Hava.

Ugh

Hell's Kitchen
Channel: FOX
Day/Time: Wednesday at 9pm (Check your local listings)

Ugh. If you watched last night’s Hell’s Kitchen then you know why I said that. In case you didn’t see it I’ll let you know what happened. The season is coming to an end. Just one more episode left now. So you know this means that Gordon Ramsay narrowed the field down to his final two. My exclamation is due to who he chose for the coveted positions. But let me take you through the episode first to get you up to speed.

In the final four we were left with Trev, Jillian, Nona, and Russell. Now, none of these four were someone I originally wanted to win. But since that is all we are left with I’ve decided to pull for Nona. The whole season Trev has been picked on by the other contestants and he just keeps on whining about it. Man I can’t stand that guy. No one can. It is completely understandable. He keeps messing up the food, he can’t cook, and his attitude is grating. He lived up to all of his annoying habits tonight as well by failing at the challenge and then messing up over and over at the dinner service.

Jillian has fared better on this show. While her voice is a little annoying to me, I was never impressed with her. She just always went on in the middle of the pack. Tonight she did pretty well though. She won the challenge despite having no clue of how to fuse cuisine from Thailand and Spain. She impressed the judges quite a bit. At the dinner service she did wonderfully on the meat station but messed up a little while running the pass and got screwed by Trev who couldn’t cook a piece of Halibut to save his life.

Nona has always been good. She has personality and never really bothered me. She can also cook very well. While she has messed up from time to time she has deserved to make it this far. On tonight’s episode Nona didn’t impress during the challenge. At dinner service she was great on garnish, which is good since she has fallen apart on that station before. When running the pass she had just one slip up and everything else was great.

Finally we come to the obnoxious Russell. I can’t stand that guy. Before tonight I just disliked him because he was so cocky and had this attitude that he was better than Ramsay. Tonight my dislike for him turned to hate. Yes guys, I said hate. My hate stems from everything I already said and for the fact that in a flashback clip Russell was wearing an old school “white rapper” visor that was cocked to the side. Really Russell? Really? Well tonight he lived up to his (insert expletive here) behaviors. He failed on the challenge and did all right at dinner service.

Now we have come to the big decision. Easy enough Trev was sent home first. He definitely should have left a LONG time ago. Now my mother and I were both hoping to see both girls in the final. But of course we knew better. Russell was named as the first of the final two. Hence my “ugh.” So we then learned that Nona made it to the final two. Sorry Jillian, it just wasn’t meant to be. But be happy, Gordon let you keep your jacket, and he almost never does that. So next week is the final episode of this season. Clearly I am pulling for Nona to win. Russell cannot win this. Even if he does the best next week and really deserves it, I hope Ramsay gives it to Nona just because no one wants to hear that cocky jerk gloat about winning. Let’s get it right this season Gordon!

I give this episode a solid four frames. If you had chosen Jillian and Nona then you would have gotten five frames Gordon.


Head on over to the forum at www.j1studios.com and talk about how horrible it was that Russell made it to the final two. Or you could tell me I'm wrong for hating him. But that probably won't change my mind.

Who wants funeral potatoes? Masterchef does!

Masterchef
Channel: FOX
Date & Time: Tuesdays at 9pm
Rating: Had profanity. May want to keep the kids away from this one.


So this summer FOX has continued its love affair with foul mouthed, trash talking super chef Gordon Ramsay. Personally, I’m okay with their love for him. I share the same affections towards the man. This is now FOX’s third show featuring the man. First there was Hell’s Kitchen, where if you read this blog at all you know I am desperately in love with. Second there was Kitchen Nightmares, which I do love but not as much. Now they have Masterchef. I am still on the fence about this one since it is only two episodes in. All of these shows are American takes of the British versions over there on the BBC.

I think everyone knows about Hell’s Kitchen so I won’t go into what it’s all about here. Kitchen Nightmares is less known. It takes the same elements that Ramsay is known for (i.e. yelling obscenities, cooking, making profitable restaurants) so no one is thrown off. In this show it’s not about getting the best chef. It’s about taking a failing restaurant and making it a profitable, successful business. Of course along the way Gordon insults the owners, and the wait staff, and the chefs, and the décor, and the menu and just about anything he can think of. But he also tells them how to make it better. In the end he usually turns the business around and the people are a lot better off for asking him to come in and curse them out.

The new show is Masterchef. Not only is there Gordon Ramsay judging, but there are two other well accomplished chefs. The first is Graham Elliot who was the youngest four star chef in America. That is no easy feat. Many chefs don’t accomplish that in their lives. The other judge is Joe Bastianich. Joe has opened, I believe, 12 successful restaurants around the world and also owns a vineyard or two. These are some pretty impressive judges. If I was a contestant on this show I would be peeing my pants on a regular basis.

So what is the point of Masterchef you guys must be wondering. Well, to be honest, I’m still wondering that myself. I have watched the first two episodes and it has been basically a bunch of “home cooks” preparing a dish that speaks to who they are or some nonsense like that. The cooks that have potential are chosen to be on the show. The ones that they don’t like are insulted and pretty much told to not cook again. Which I think is fine by some of their families. Some of that food looked nasty. After this what happens? Well from what I gather they put the chosen ones through a series of challenges to see who the best is. They are turning a home cook into a professional. It’s not clear if they win any money. I know they don’t win a restaurant. I’m guessing notoriety is what they are looking for here. Justification for leaving whatever job they have now to be a cook. They haven’t been completely clear on what the prize is here. But since I enjoy watching people get screamed and cursed at I’m game to continue watching. It kind of makes me think of Hell’s Kitchen and Top Chef rolled into one. And since I love both shows this could potentially be enjoyable.

So far, and based just on the first two episodes, I'm giving this show 3 1/2 frames. It may deserve more frames later on. But like judges for figure skating, I'm not throwing out the 10s till I see all the skaters.


This is part of the first episode. I couldn't get a shorter clip. Watch the whole thing, it's good. But what I wanted to show you starts in around the 6 minute mark.


Well, until next time kids, this has been Hava!

So you think you can do what now?

So You Think You Can Dance
Channel: FOX
Date & Time: Wed. at 8pm, Thurs. at 9pm
Rating: Everybody

So I would like to complain about the latest season of So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD). It pains me to do this since I love this show so much. My biggest issue this season doesn’t necessarily lie with the people chosen to be on the show (oh I have issues with that but that will be discussed later) or with the fact that Mary Murphy is no longer a constant presence (I actually kind of love that). My biggest problem has to do with the structure of the competition. Too many things have changed.

Let me take you back, if you will, to past seasons. In the past 6 seasons, after the auditions, the judges will choose 20 dancers to make the show, 10 boys and 10 girls. Each boy would be matched up with a girl and they would dance as partners for a certain amount of weeks and then they would switch up partners to make things more interesting. Each week one boy and one girl would be voted off. Seems like an easy enough formula. One that has been working for six seasons. One that has proved to yield favorable results. Well this season they threw a big part of that formula out the window. Instead of 20 dancers, they only chose 11. Yeah 11 folks. Seems they couldn’t quite make the tough decision to cut one more person. So we are left with six guys and five girls. Now I’m sure you all are wondering how they can pair up this uneven number. Well there is the other part of the change. Now the dancers aren’t paired up with other contestants. They are now dancing with “all-stars” (past contestants of the show). What in the world is this about? I don’t understand. I don’t like it either. I think I know where they are going with this whole thing. I guess next to these great and wonderful all-stars we can really judge how well the contestant danced. A good dancer can’t be dragged down along with a bad dancer if their partner doesn’t get it. But this messes with the whole fabric of the show. The threads that hold the show together. Just this past episode they had the dancers dance once with the all-stars and then again with another contestant. So they are kind of leading it back to the original premise.

What is with the smaller amount of contestants this season? Is it because FOX only allotted SYTYCD a certain number of weeks and they decided they couldn’t fit all of it in considering the time constraints? If there are going to be fewer contestants why can’t they be paired up with each other from the beginning? Why the all-stars? There wasn’t really any kind of an explanation as to why this is happening. I love seeing those past contestants. They dance beautifully and bring a level of professionalism to the performance. But why are they there?!?! Why can’t these contestants have the same experience as the all-stars? There are just too many questions and very few answers.

The contestants this season I don’t completely agree with. They aren’t bad dancers or overwhelmingly annoying. They just aren’t people I think should be there instead of others. Now if they had 20 dancers this season these 11 probably wouldn’t bother me as much because some of the other dancers that I think were better would be there too. I must say that these dancers have held their own so far alongside the all-stars.

The one thing I do love about the changes though is that I don’t have to hear that annoying Mary Murphy scream and act like an ass all the time. Matter of fact, I have hardly seen her this season. I don’t know if they explained why she hasn’t been there every episode. I don’t need an explanation though. I need the address of Nigel so I can send him a fruit basket or something as a thank you. Mary always got on my nerves. It was so bad that I would mute the television every time she would speak just so I wouldn’t have to hear her voice and her screaming and the stupid stuff that she would say to the dancers. Now I’m not wishing harm on her or bad times. I’m sure she’s a perfectly lovely woman off the show. But on the show, man, I wanted to make it so she no longer had a voice box so we wouldn’t have to hear her anymore. I wanted a permanent mute option.

Well, hopefully with the new change of them dancing one dance with fellow contestants will come more dances in that vein. I want less all-stars and more season 7 contestants. I want more dancing and less Mary Murphy. Let’s see where the rest of the season takes us. At this last show they were doing the top 8 so we have many more shows to go.

I'm giving this season 3 1/2 stars so far. They have changed too much. But they can still redeem themselves.


Sorry I don't have an updated video from this last episode, but since it just aired last night no clips were available. This is the recap from last week's episode. Enjoy!
Top 9 - FOX Broadcasting Company - So You Think You Can Dance - Videos


Well, until next time kids, this has been Hava!

It's time for the straight jacket!

"The Hills"
Tuesdays at 10 pm
MTV

Who loves a good train wreck? I do! I do! Thank goodness or I wouldn’t be able to sit through the final season of “The Hills.” Can you believe it? They are closing it out after only five seasons. I guess all good things must come to an end. Oh how they are ending though. As time has passed in “The Hills” we have seen friendships made and ripped apart in a matter of episodes, passing from one relationship to the next, pointless bickering, and the creation of (cue scary music: Dun dun duh) Speidi. That is possibly the single most irritating creation that will eventually bring down civilization as we know it.

So as this final season starts we are brought right back into it with the snarky bickering we love so much. It seems though that all of the usual pointless banter and silent prolonged gazes are a little less poignant this season. I feel that everything that will happen this season is going to be overshadowed by the horrible crushing transformations of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt (Speidi). Before the season started it was revealed that Heidi had undergone 10 elective plastic surgeries at once. When all was said and done she came out looking like a different person. Only a trace of the original Heidi is left in her cold blank eyes. But I’ll get more into that later. Spencer also goes through; I guess you can only call it, a spiritual transformation. Or, as spiritual as Spencer will ever get.

I hope you all don’t mind that I’m not really going to address all of the rumors about Kristin’s supposed drug use and Stephanie and Lo being behind it. I won’t even get into the ridiculous relationship that is Audrina and Ryan Cabrera (P.S. sweetie, Ryan, what have you done to yourself? You use to be attractive). The biggest thing of all, and it can no longer be disregarded as them playing to the media for attention, is the soul crushing relationship between Heidi and Spencer. While it’s no secret that Spencer is controlling and wants to have Heidi all to himself, he seems to now be to trying to seclude the both of them from family and friends. He is so stuck in his own little world and he doesn’t care who he hurts along the way.

Spencer, this season, has morphed into a “spiritual,” crystal loving, guru shaman sort of guy. His oddly bushy flesh toned beard is no longer the creepiest thing about him. He constantly walks around with either hippie inspired shirts or grandpa-esque cardigans and covered practically from head to toe in different crystals. He claimed that he is “vibrationally tuned in” now because of them. I think the only things they are tuning him into are the permanent crazy eyes he’s been sporting and the unnecessary, hurtful flip outs. While if you have ever seen even just one episode of “The Hills” you can guess that Spencer doesn’t care for his sister Stephanie and doesn’t like Heidi’s whole family. Probably because they don’t like him and at any turn have tried to get Heidi away from him. Spencer use to be able to be in the same room with these people before. True, he would probably start a fight or storm off in a huff, but one thing was always certain. He would stick around long enough to give that smug little smirk of his and say something completely ridiculous that would make everyone groan. He has now evolved into some super monster that doesn’t have a soul or a heart or any other human feelings or emotions. The season is only two episodes in and Spencer has already reduced Stephanie to tears in a matter of seconds. And if the previews for the rest of this season are spot on, then it seems like everyone is going to be genuinely frightened by him.

When it comes to Heidi, I can’t help but feel bad for her now. It’s so obvious that this girl is suffering from such self-esteem issues that she thinks she has to change her entire appearance so she can look like Barbie. Yes that is who she wants to look like. That was confirmed in the first episode when she goes home to Colorado to show her family her new face. The show made a huge deal about the big reveal of her changed appearance. MTV created this aura of mystery around it even though it was unnecessary since we all have seen her new self on the cover of People magazine about a month ago. The whole part of the first episode where Heidi is home and having to deal with her family’s feelings about her change is heart breaking. It was really tough watching her mother come down on her for having become a whole new person that she doesn’t even recognize anymore. Her mother called her out on her changed outlook on life since moving to Los Angeles and ventured to wonder what Heidi would have been like if she hadn’t moved. While I don’t necessarily agree with how harsh her mother was, she made sense. Heidi, you are a completely different person than you were in the first season. That girl wouldn’t have cared and would have walked around the world with her same old face that God gave her. Somewhere down the road in these past almost 5 years she has gone off the deep end herself. She has lost control in her marriage to Spencer and has a huge disconnect with her family because of it. It makes sense that she would turn to something that she can control. Some girls will go to anorexia or bulimia or even cutting, to have something to control in their lives. Heidi took her minor dislikes for things about her body, that all of us have, and tried to fix them with plastic surgery. Unfortunately for Heidi, she doesn’t know that doing things to supplement the pain is only exacerbating the problem. The fixes and changes and a new “3.0” (as she put it) self will never make her feel 100% better. It will just move her on to the next thing she feels she can’t control and send her spiraling into another black hole.

Personally this relationship is kind of scary. I don’t know where this whole thing is going with Spencer. We are led to believe that everyone else on the show is frightened by his actions and are concerned for themselves and Heidi. The show makes it seem like the two may get a divorce. This doesn’t seem likely since they are currently still together. I think this may be the smartest thing Heidi could do and it may help her get back part of herself. Unfortunately for her, she can’t go back and reverse what she has had done to her body. But she can go and learn to be more comfortable in the skin she now has and become a better person.

I'm giving the first two episodes of the final season 3 1/2 frames. It hasn't reached it's crazy potential just quite yet.


Check out the extended trailer for the final season


So head on over the forum and discuss the beauty that is "The Hills." Do you hate it? Do you love it? Do you loathe that you love it? Tell me all about it.

Until next time kids, this has been Hava.

You Are The Biggest Loser, Or Just A Loser

Yeah I’m talking to you Melissa. That’s why you were voted off last night. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m referring to the latest person to be voted off of “The Biggest Loser” on NBC. If you haven’t been watching, Melissa was voted off several weeks ago and won the right to come back to the ranch by losing the most weight while at home. What made this such a tragedy was that NO ONE liked her. The only person who wanted her around was her husband and he eventually got voted off too.

Melissa has been a topic of controversy on this season of “The Biggest Loser.” The two trainers, Bob and Jillian, suspected that she was throwing the weigh-ins for a couple weeks. Her and her husband would win immunity in a challenge so they couldn’t be voted off at the end of the show. So what did she do, she only lost a couple pounds one week and actually GAINED a pound the next week. By doing that she was able to lose a huge number the next week when she didn’t have immunity, thus making it impossible to be voted off. Okay, I know this is a game and in the end the players aren’t only there to lose weight. They are also there to win a lot of money. To ensure that you stay around you have to play the game a little bit. We all get that. But throwing two weigh-ins in a row? That’s just stupid. People will catch on to you. And they did and that’s why the first chance they got the rest of the players voted her behind off.

When she won the chance to come back on the ranch she was a bigger annoyance, and that’s putting it nicely, than the first time around. The beginning of the season she didn’t only play the game to the extreme, she was rude and ignorant to most of the other players there. That didn’t change. She just amped it up a little more. Why someone would do this is beyond me. Isn’t it obvious that these people don’t like you and want you gone? Can’t you see that when given the opportunity they will get rid of you? The rest of the players did everything they could this past episode to make sure she wasn’t staying. The stepped it up and forced her to lose the challenge which gave her a 1 pound disadvantage at the weigh-in. That’s a big deal on this show. So when she didn’t lose enough weight she went to the ultimate extreme to get to stay. Now I ask, what kind of person says that if you keep them they can guarantee to be in the bottom two every week and help everyone else pick people off one by one?

Let’s examine her proposition shall we? What is she really offering here? Is she saying that she will throw the weigh-in every week so that she is in the bottom two which allows everyone else the ability to get rid of the other person? Does she think that she can’t lose enough weight every week to stay above the yellow line and not be up for elimination so she’s giving them an option? Are the rest of the players really supposed to believe that she won’t screw them and lose a ton of weight every week (because she is capable of it) and pick off the rest of them? Does she really think they are that stupid? Well clearly they aren’t since they got rid of her for a second time. Then she had the audacity to admonish them for not realizing what a wonderful opportunity they are throwing away. This woman has balls people.

I will spare you the catty, nay, witty banter that transpired between me and my mother about how they kept mentioning in the update on the voted off player how Melissa and her husband have been working on their marriage and making it better. Now if you have ever watched this show you can kind of guess as to why their marriage may be on the skids. But we’ll leave that up to speculation. There are some really great players left in the game for the big prize. I would be happy with any of them winning. I hope that all of them continue to lose ridiculous amounts of weight and look amazing and feel amazing in the end. The one thing I don’t want to see is Melissa coming back at the finale and winning the smaller monetary prize for losing the most weight at home. I don’t think I have ever disliked a player on this game more than I do her. If I never have to hear her horrible, grating voice or see that dung eating grin again I will be a happier person for it. Don’t seem shocked at my disdain either readers. I prefaced all of my blogs with a warning that I get invested in all that I watch.

For your viewing pleasure, please watch Melissa have her backside handed to her.


I give this episode 5 frames based solely on the fact that Melissa is gone!


Please head on over to the forum to support my loathing for Melissa. Or feel free to tell me why it is unjustified. Just go to the forum and chat it up.

Until next time kids, this has been Hava.

America's Next Top Model: Showing the world that Tyra Banks is crazy no matter how tall you are

"America's Next Top Model"
Channel: The CW (Check local listings)
Time: 8pm EST, Wednesdays

The models on this cycle of America’s Next Top Model may be short, but they are not short on attitude or bitchiness. Of course we are going to find cattiness with a house full of girls all vying for the same prize. These girls however are amping it up just a bit I think. Another thing that has been amped up is Tyra Banks’ craziness. It seems that with every new cycle she has been showing her real side or should I say her other personality. I’m waiting for her to name it a la Beyonce and her alter ego Sasha freaking Fierce. We are into the fourth show of the cycle and already I’m getting frustrated. We get that these girls are all 5’7 and under. You don’t have to keep telling us!

There are some glaring obvious things in these past three shows. There is some hypocriticalness to it. Tyra keeps preaching about how beautiful their shortness is and to be proud of it, but in the next breath says that the modeling world still isn’t ready for it and to make themselves look longer. Every chance that Tyra gets she throws in some stupid skit about some photographer or agent making fun of short girls who want to model and she steps in with some crazy accent or costume to save the day. She reinforces their shortness by making them wear flats to judging. If any of the tall girls in previous cycles were to wear flats to panel they would have been berated. You would think that of all the girls who were ever on Top Model, the short ones should be wearing 10 inch heels. That’s if we are to believe that they have to keep looking tall to be hired. Also, the stage height makes them look that much shorter. The step that Tyra stands on at panel is significantly higher than ever before. It makes her look like a giant compared to the aspiring models. Frankly Tyra, I’m confused.

The challenges and photo shoots have been typical for Top Model; nothing new and inventive because they have short girls. The only thing that is different is that they say to look longer more. Hopefully as this cycle goes on they will stop stressing the fact that because they are short people won’t want to hire them and will focus on the fact that these are gorgeous girls who actually have some talent for modeling. True they are still green and wet behind the ears, but that’s no different than any of the tall girls before them. Tyra, give us a chance to think to ourselves, “Wow, that girl is only 5’5? She looks 5’10.” Stop shoving down my throat that they are shorter than me. (FYI, I’m 5’9.) Of course I will continue to watch this cycle through to the end to see who wins. I will be properly outraged every week if the wrong girl goes home just to keep drama on the show. And since all of the shows have been taped and the winner of the show has already been chosen I will most likely have to suffer through all of the horrendous short talk. But I beseech you Tyra, stop trying to make yourself look like a pioneer when you are only making yourself like a jerk with all of your hysterics. It’s getting old.

I'm giving this cycle so far 3 frames. The glaring hypocriticalness of it all is dragging my opinion of it down.






Head over to the forum to discuss this cycle of Top Model, or any of the previous cycles.

Until next time kids, this has been Hava.

Real Housewives of Atlanta Premiere: These ladies are no sweet peaches

“Real Housewives of Atlanta”
Channel: Bravo (check your local listings)
Time/Day: 10pm Thursdays

Last Thursday marked the return of the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” on Bravo. They are back for their second season and they are poised and ready to tear each other apart just like last season. Dyshaun Snow, who was more boring than watching paint dry, from the first season is out and Grammy award winning Kandi Burruss is in. In the premiere we are brought up to date on what is happening in the lives of our housewives. Lisa and her husband are thinking about having another child. Kim has broken up with her meal ticket boyfriend and she wants to design her own line of wigs. Nene and family have moved into a new home in Lisa’s neighborhood. Sheree has been forced to move due to unfortunate situations with her ex husband. She is also planning an independence party since she is officially divorced. We are introduced to Kandi’s world and given a bit of a background on her music career in Xscape and her songwriting for other artists. The viewers also learn that she is working on her own record and has recently gotten engaged.

The drama never stops with these ladies. When we left the housewives at the end of the first season Nene and Kim were not speaking after a long feud throughout the season. Kim and Sheree had become quick friends sharing in their mutual dislike for Nene. During the premiere we find out that Kim and Nene have never gotten together to quash their differences like they promised on the finale. If nothing else they only have more of a problem with each other. Sheree and Kim are now no longer besties and Sheree has been keeping her distance. It also seems that Kim has been spreading some vicious rumors about Lisa. So basically she is alienating herself from everyone on the show. Way to go.

In the premiere Sheree and Nene make up and become friends again after absolutely hating each other last season. There were some “brush off” scenes between Kim and the other girls at Niecy Nash’s birthday party which got Lisa, Nene, and Sheree all in a tizzy and discussing how they don’t like her. I have to admit that the real fireworks didn’t start for me until the last five minutes of the show. Sheree was displeased, to say the least, with the party planner for her independence party. During her meeting with him, let’s just say things got a little heated. No, that is a gross misrepresentation of what happened. It almost came to blows. Sheree and that man were in each other’s faces, yelling and screaming, calling each other all types of names. He was dragged kicking and screaming out of the room by a colleague. Hmm, I think Sheree’s party may have to be postponed while she looks for another party planner.

All in all I was highly entertained by the premiere of the second season of the “Real Housewives of Atlanta.” It was the perfect mix of catch up and drama that settles you back in with the girls as if they never left. The preview of the season to come also shows crazy promise. It appears that in the next episode Nene and Sheree gang up on Kim that leads to an altercation on the street where Kim possibly loses her wig. Yes folks, the white girl loses her wig this time around. Real Housewives, breaking racial stereotypes one episode at a time.

I gave this episode four frames out of five. Only four because I think there could have been a little more drama and a little less catching up.


For more information on the Real Housewives of Atlanta and other Bravo programs head to http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-atlanta.


Head over to www.j1studios.com to discuss the real housewives and the drama yet to come in the forum!

Until next time kids, this has been Hava.

"Hell's Kitchen" Premiere: If you can't take the heat...well you know the rest

“Hell’s Kitchen”
Channel: FOX (Check your local listings)
Time/Day: 8pm Tuesdays

If you have never seen FOX’s reality show “Hell’s Kitchen” then you have been missing out. The general premise is this foul-mouthed master chef, Gordon Ramsey, is looking for the best chef to run the kitchen in a big restaurant (this year it is the Araxi restaurant in Wistler, British Columbia, Canada. The site of the 2010 winter Olympics). The chefs have to prove themselves through a series of challenges and dinner services and the whole time Ramsey is yelling at them and calling them some pretty funny names.

This season in the two hour premiere we were introduced to 16 new chefs (find their profiles here http://www.fox.com/hellskitchen) who all think they have what it takes. The 16 are divided in two teams of 8, the men against the women. The chefs have to first make their signature dishes for Ramsey with the hopes of impressing him. Well let’s say that out of the 16 only 5 got favorable reviews. After that it is on the punishments and rewards. Whenever a team wins a challenge they get a reward that usually affords them time with Ramsey. That is valuable. This time the men won dinner and a little celebrating upstairs in the apartments. The women had to clean up the kitchen. Fast forward to dinner service. In a few brief words, it was horrible. One of the male contestants was thrown out and off the show. The women never even served any appetizers. So of course they lost. When you lose you have to put up people for elimination that you think messed up the most and Ramsey then decides who should go home. This time around it was Melinda for being a deer caught in headlights. What was so great about this first half though was that it was the return of Robert, a contestant from last season who had to leave for medical reasons. Ramsey thought he would do better on the women’s team.

In the second half of the show we get another challenge where the teams have to clean whole shrimp perfectly. Again the men win by just one prawn. They were rewarded with a lunch with Ramsey where we find that ex-marine Joseph has no desire to pal around with Gordon. He just wants to cook and win. The women had to clean all of the shrimp that would be used for the next dinner service. The personalities really start to come out amongst the women and you can see that some people aren’t as great as they think they are. At dinner service people are butting heads all over the place. The maitre ‘d, Jean-Philippe (JP), got into with Van, the country Texas boy. Tennille (No, the captain isn’t there) almost served raw shrimp to a pregnant woman. People were all over the place and couldn’t cook right. The kitchen was shut down prematurely again. This time both teams lost and had to pick two people each to be put up for elimination. The best part of this show was the very end. The women put up their people without a problem but when Joseph was asked to say who the first person up was and why he just couldn’t get it together. It evolved into him saying he “ain’t no bitch” and going to get up in Ramsey’s face. Then of course the screen goes black and we have to wait till next week to see what happens.

I must say that I am biased towards loving this show because I love cooking and cursing and I get all of that and then some with “Hell’s Kitchen” and Gordon Ramsey. This season however looks very promising. The personalities are getting stronger and you never know what’s going to happen. Hell, next week there may even be punches thrown. Although I have to say, Joseph, I think you have some anger issues you need to resolve. Can we say PTSD people? Cause I think his therapist can.

I give this episode, and probably the whole season, 5 frames out of 5. I just prefer my food with a side of bitchiness and excessive cursing.




Head on over to J1studios to discuss reality, cursing, and the genius that is Gordon Ramsey.

Until next time kids, this has been Hava.

Real Housewives of New Jersey the Finale

“Real Housewives of New Jersey” (2009)
Channel: Bravo (check local listings)
Time: 10pm Wednesdays

Real Housewives of New Jersey: Finale
Table throwing family fun!

Let me catch you up to speed. In episode 4 “the book” about Danielle comes out and we find that she was arrested for kidnapping, prostitution, and a whole host of other stuff. She blames Dina for leaking the book and showing it around town. Jacqueline has to decide about being her friend or not. Teresa moves into her new house. We find out that Jacqueline is having problems getting pregnant and is seeing a fertility doctor. Nothing else interesting happens really. In episode 5 the fallout from the book continues. Only Jacqueline is speaking with Danielle. Everyone else has cut her out. We also find out that Danielle’s boyfriend is actually cheating on her (I so called that.) because he wants to take someone to Teresa’s shore house that isn’t Danielle. Danielle ultimately decides to break up with him. Teresa gets some boobs. Finally. She was flatter than my 4 year old nephew. Now on to what EVERYONE has been waiting for the entire six episode season…the finale.
The first half hour was full of drivel. Teresa shows Dina & her daughter around her new house. Teresa then tells Dina that she is having a housewarming dinner party and she is inviting Danielle. Jacqueline’s parents visit and she asks their opinion on that car her husband bought for her daughter. Later we see that they present the car to the daughter, but with conditions. Way to parent for real and not just give her the car outright because Lord knows she didn’t completely deserve it. We find Dina helping her daughter clear out all of her billion stuffed animals from her room because she is too old for that stuff now. And she is growing bubbies (That’s breasts for all of you not from northern Jersey). Dina also questions whether she should work or stay at home. Caroline’s dog gets protection classes. Basically learning how to be an attack dog.
And then…the party. Before Danielle and her children arrive Teresa’s new bubbies are discussed and if some of the other housewives’ are real. Everyone is laughing and enjoying themselves and the music from Jaws starts to play in my head as Danielle enters the room. Teresa tries to break the tension by saying some dumb crap about oysters and some “swallowing” jokes are made and then about how Teresa’s husband wanted to have sex right away after her breast surgery. All of a sudden “the book” appears on the table next to Danielle. She finds this to be the right time to give her side of the story and explain things. She kept being interrupted though. She claims that the only things in the book that are real are that she was arrested and that she has changed her name. Um, yeah. Sure. No one is buying that. The younger kids are told to leave the room as it goes back and forth between Dina and Danielle accusing and denying.
A silence overcomes the women and we learn that Caroline was the one who spread “the book” around. The infamous “My family is as thick as thieves” line comes out. Not as satisfying as I wanted it to be. Dina is saying she had nothing to do with “the book” and Jacqueline finally calls her out on it. She had been a part of it all along and had found the book. Danielle then disrespects Teresa in some way and Teresa loses it. She starts screaming, throwing the table around and yelling things such as “prostitution whore.” Love it! Danielle is being called crazy. And just as it started, it stopped. Jacqueline’s husband, clearly the voice of reason, calmed them down and stopped it by telling them everyone was wrong. We get a nice wrap up for the housewives. Dina has decided to stop working and be an actual housewife. Teresa is still helping her daughter become an actress and she is now pregnant. Caroline stands behind exposing the book and would do it again. Danielle is still looking for her “soul mate.” She hasn’t crossed paths with Dina. She also threatened that if people continue to talk crap about her then she will come with people to basically kick your ass. Jacqueline is happily expecting another child and it has brought the family closer together again.
All in all the finale was good. I could have done without the first half of it and just had a whole episode of fighting at the restaurant. I was disappointed that the season was only six episodes. I am looking forward to the reunion show that is next week. Someone needs to throw a punch. They’re from Jersey, it’s almost mandatory.

http://www.amazon.com/Jaws-Original-Motion-Picture-Soundtrack/dp/B000002NZU (Scroll down and play the main title theme for the theme from Jaws)
http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey (Get blogs and other tid bits from the show)

My rating:


Four and a half frames only because there should have been a punch thrown. At least one.

Head over to the forum on www.j1studios.com and discuss your favorite guilty pleasure reality show. Come on, everybody has one.

Until next time kids, this has been Hava.