Real Housewives of NJ: Episodes 2&3

Real Housewives of New Jersey (RHONJ): Episodes 2 & 3

It had such a promising start

Well folks, episodes two and three of the new season of the Real Housewives franchise just didn’t live up to what the first episode promised. I was kind of let down. In the second episode you find out that Teresa takes her daughters shopping at least twice a week. Must be nice. During the shopping trip her eldest daughter finds out she is going to audition for a part in a movie with Dwayne Johnson (yes I’m respecting his wish to no longer be known as the Rock). That’s it for her except going to see her new house which is still being built. Jacqueline’s daughter is failing 11^th grade. She is also planning a birthday party for her son. Dun Dun Dun…Danielle and Dina will be at the party. Don’t get too excited. Nothing happens. They both are cordial to each other. The only good thing was that Dina finished out my Silence of the Lambs reference and mentioned the lotion. YES! Danielle mistakenly thinks that they will be great friends. Dina would never let that happen. Caroline’s daughter is somewhat pushed into going to beauty school. Don’t think that will last very long. Or she will live her life unhappy.

The only other thing that happens is that we find out that Danielle is now dating a man that is 26. She is 45. She is definitely in cougar mode. I would say good for her, but he’s not that good looking. We learn from Teresa that this guy goes to Danielle’s house for a daily blow job. Seems he’s the only one making out in this deal. I mean, blow jobs daily, the offer of sex in the bathroom at the restaurant, what else could a guy want? Oh yeah, and Dina has an event to raise money for her charity. Now that’s great and I applaud her for that. She just goes into super bitch mode when working I guess. Whatever gets the job done. That was it for episode 2 basically.

Episode three is slightly more entertaining. Danielle has a spa party at her house and invites the other housewives. Botox and collagen is handy so of course people are going for it. Dina couldn’t hold back with the insults while Danielle was getting her lip plumped. So of course there were then accusations about how people know stuff about people in the personal interviews. Jacqueline’s daughter has now apparently flunked two classes and has to go to summer school. How does her father help teach her responsibility? By buying her a car. Yeah that’s smart. Jacqueline is not at all pleased with this. Thank God she isn’t an overindulgent mother. Jacqueline is helping out with Caroline’s daughter though. They are still going through with the beauty school idea and Jacqueline is helping out because she has her license and was at one point working in a salon or something along those lines. The daughter still doesn’t seem thrilled. Teresa’s daughter didn’t get the part in the movie from the second episode. So now she is pushing modeling. She gets many pictures taken of the daughter and the girl is going to work with Wilhelmina models. Yippee!

Next we find that everything is not all peaches and cream with Danielle’s relationship. Personally I think the boyfriend is cheating. But you never know. He is distant and not as all over her as he use to be so she is not happy. She goes to Jacqueline’s house and busts up a nice quiet play date between Teresa and Jacqueline’s kids to talk about it. Danielle asks for advice and when given it she gets upset and says that she didn’t want advice. Danielle leaves and that gets Jacqueline and Teresa talking about rumors they heard. They have heard that Danielle was once a stripper. Personally I don’t think it’s that serious but they think it’s horrible. She said she was a professional dancer. Isn’t that what all ex-strippers in denial say? Well we finally get to the good part of the show. The previews for the next episode. Caroline is shooting daggers at Danielle for being a little too touchy feely with her son at a dance class. That leads her to wanting to “investigate” Danielle. The rumors then start to fly about Danielle and they range from the ridiculous to the sublime. She is a husband stealer; was a prostitute; was involved with the mafia; was in with a drug cartel. But wait, it gets better. There’s a book detailing all of these things. Oh yeah! I’m all over this one.

Hava is out of here!