Sick time TV

I have seen my fair share of day time programming. And yes, I tend to watch Maury, Jerry Springer, court shows, and just recently Wendy Williams. Well I was home sick this past Tuesday and stayed true to my usual programming. I started my morning with reruns of Cheaters; then went back and forth between Maury and Wendy Williams. I unfortunately slept through half of Jerry Springer because those people were a mess. Well, they usually are. Then it was half of Maury and a rerun of TMZ. Next up Days of Our Lives, then some People’s Court, and then more Maury. I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m telling you this. I’m sharing this because it leads me into my rant on day time talk shows.

Of course I could go on and on about court shows. I do frequent Divorce Court and Judge Mathis. On occasion I will settle in for some Judge Joe Brown. And I do love my Judge Judy. But court shows don’t always provide the flair that talk shows do. Yes they can be funny but most of the time I’m just frustrated at how stupid most of these people are. If you say you watch the judge’s show all the time then you should know don’t put someone on your phone bill, or always get it in writing. It will never be different for you.

I don’t want any judging about watching Jerry Springer. Everyone knows that they have watched it and laughed at it. I don’t care if all those people on there are paid actors. It’s funny and that’s why I watch it. Jerry Springer is a genius. He has been on for something like 15 years. He knows what people want to see and he gives it to them. If people didn’t really want to watch this crap then he would have been cancelled a long time ago. Face facts folks, you watch it, I watch it, everyone watches it. It’s not going anywhere until Jerry wants to quit.

My recent addition has been Wendy Williams. I use to listen to her from time to time when she was on the radio. When they finally started showing her talk show in Philly I didn’t watch it. What made me start watching it was the show The Soup. When the host, Joel McHale, would make fun of the show I just had to see if her show was really as crazy as he made it out to be. Sometimes it is. What I like about her is that she knows who she is and she is exactly that. She doesn’t try to amp it up or tone it down for television. I appreciate that. Her show is fun and she has some good guests and performances.



That brings me to my staple in my day time TV watching, Maury. He usually has to the same five topics on his show: paternity tests, lie detector tests, bad ignorant ass little girls, look at me now that I’m hot, and anything caught on tape. There is the occasional other show thrown in there but those are the main five topics you will see. The most seen is the paternity test show. I always find that I am shaking my head the hardest at those shows. This leads into my main rant of this entry:

Why do these girls on Maury always start downing the men that they are saying are their baby’s father? Clearly they were some kind of special at one point that you wanted to have sex with them. I always think it’s funny that the first thing they go after is how if they have a son the baby has the same small penis as the supposed father. Um, duh. Of course a baby is going to have a small penis. And if this man had such a small penis what were you doing having sex with them repeatedly? Obviously they knew how to use it so why make fun of it now? Also, when these men say that they think they aren’t the father because the girl slept around, they could be lying just to back up why they don’t want to be the dad. But girls, don’t think that when he is proven to be the father that it proves you weren’t sleeping with all these other men. It just means that he was the one to get you pregnant. I think Maury should do lie detector tests on all of the females that are accused of sleeping around so that the man can have some validation if they really were cheating. I have some helpful tips for the women that go on Maury to determine paternity of their children. A) Don’t start spouting off that you are a million percent sure that he is the father. Especially if you know you slept with other people in at least one month before or after you think the baby was conceived. Nine times out of ten he’s not going to be. 2) Be honest. If you slept with other guys just admit it outright so you don’t look like a whore later if he is proven to not be the father. C) DON’T RUN OFF THE STAGE! Do you know how stupid you look running off the stage after it’s shown he’s not the father? The answer to that is very stupid. 4) If he isn’t the father of your children, apologize for the mistake and keep it moving. And E) If the first guy isn’t proven to be the father don’t come back on the show 10 more times with all these other men. Come back one more time with all of the men. You may think it looks bad that you have all these men there at once, but it will look a lot less bad then repeatedly coming back. And again, go back to tip number one ladies. Okay you really thought that first guy was the father. Well, if you were proven wrong don’t come back and say you are 1000% sure of this new guy too. Just say you think he may be the father and let it be especially if you know you slept with other guys.

(Sorry for the poor quality of the video. But you get the point.)


But I digress. So the next time I’m home from work for whatever reason you can be sure that I will be watching a mix of all of those shows and enjoying all of them. I know I’m not the only one. Go to the forum and discuss your favorite daytime TV programs. I want complete honesty too.

Until next time kids, this has been Hava!

SNOW DAY! Wait, the news is on?!

So if you live in the PA, NJ, DE, NY area right about now you have TONS of snow outside your window. Most likely you had off from work Wednesday and if you are even luckier you have off today as well. Well, I'm one of those lucky people to not have to go to work. So I think that I can just hunker down in front of the television and catch up on some good ol' day time TV. Maybe watch my soaps, some Ellen, any court show. Silly me though. How could I have thought I would get to see any of that when there is all this weather going on outside my door.

If you haven't guessed it I'm referring to the constant snowpocolypse coverage on all of the major networks. It's like they read my mind on what I wanted to watch today and they did the exact opposite. Who really wants to sit there and watch the news ALL DAY LONG report on how much snow is falling from the sky? We have windows. We can see what's going on out there. How much can you really say about the weather? Now, I can understand a weather and traffic update every hour. I will even accept every half hour. If something major happens then you can break into my regularly scheduled programming to report on it. But I don't think you have to blather on repeatedly about the same thing and talking to the same people.

Now I'm sure you're wondering why I didn't just switch to a cable channel and call it a day. Well, I did. But see, that's not the point. Not everyone has cable. And there isn't always something to watch on cable. Today, it was slim pickings for a while. Also, when you have your heart set on watching your soap, mine is Days of Our Lives, or watching Ellen, beautiful Channing Tatum was supposed to be on today, you are let down when you turn on the channel and there is some fool news reporter standing outside in this blizzard talking about how cold and snowy and windy it is out there. Um, duh!

We get it CBS, ABC, NBC, and FOX! You don't have to tell us from 5am to 8pm about what's going on outside of our houses. We all went out and shoveled the snow to no avail at some point today. We all can look out the window at what's going on out there. I'm letting you know now all major networks that if I'm subjected to the same thing today someone will be getting a very angry email. I am lucky enough to have off from work and I would like to watch my Days of Our Lives and my court shows on FOX. If I am deprived of this for a second day I cannot be held accountable for my actions. I might just have to go outside, pick up a stick with a spoon like apparatus attached to the end of it, and start throwing snow around with it, ultimately leaving a clear path from my door to the sidewalk and then to the street. I know. It could get serious.



Enjoy the snow everyone! Until next time kids, this has been Hava!